"And I don't want the world to see me Cause I don't think that they'd understand When everything's made to be broken I just want you to know who I am"- The Goo Goo Dolls "iris"
those lyrics struck me today also lately this two sets of lyrics have struck me also:
"You take my rights away You take control, No stopping You You take my rights away I can take it " - "You Take my Rights Away" - Skillet
"You alone are what my soul needs You know the thirst is taking over Hardly breathe, I'm in urgent need You know the thirst is taking over "- "The Thirst is Taking Over" Skillet
lately i dunno they just strike me and make me stop for a second cause sometimes they apply to me and sometimes i wish they'd apply to me. that said lets begin on the journey of my "serious" blog post. meanwhile i have gotten the hiccups its a grand ole time.
the other day (it wasn't the other day it was sometime last week but i don't remember what day it was hah!) i was talking to Justin and he was telling me that my personality type is good at puzzles like tetris. and then i was thinking and i was like life is just like a puzzle sometimes. it was so philosophical for a sec i baffled myself. but really you just try to fit the pieces where they need to go to be complete so weird right?
next topic of discussion is being vague. now sometimes i think i'm tooo vague but thats sometimes just how i like to be especially when its concerning serious stuff. i don't like to divulge too much info cause i'm private (next subject is me being private nice segway right?) and sometimes i don't even intentionally mean to be vague it just happens. i guess its something i've built up over the years and its kinda nice not blurting everything out at one moment haha. i guess being vague can be a blessing and a curse. i'm somewhere in the middle of those two but i digress.
oh being private. i'm not necessarily sure at this point if its a good or a bad thing. i think its good cause on one hand i don't like to spread all my business so everyone knows cause that can be sketchy but at the same time i dunno its an odd thing. but in the book i read last it was kind of like you don't have to be necessarily totally open as long as you have this super close circle with some people you completely trust. and i admit i do have trust issues its just how it has happened i've had trust in some people and i got stabbed in the back. which i'm sure has happened to plenty of people. but i just try to guard it. that said i'm super thankful for my bff cause hes amazing and then my other really close friends (select few can count on one hand) they are really great and i'm blessed to have them.
now the anti-social bit. now this confuses me sometimes cause i never used to be anti-social before. its just so weird like i think i was 20 well maybe 21 when i got to be super anti-social i think it happened after evan and i had a falling out he was my last friend in seattle and even then he was the only one i had cause i had falling outs with a few more Friends before that it was just like a steady stream of close friendships dying off which sucks but in the end it had to happen. and then when i was anti-social (hah i say that like i'm not still anti-social) it was fine i found things to do i don't necessarily need to do things with people i can entertain myself. but i do struggle with it actually getting up the nerve to go hang out and then when i do a lot of times it sucks. last night didn't suck but thats a whole nother post which i will make soon. but yeah i dunno its just hard to get up nerve sometimes. maybe it will come in time.
this concludes the "serious" post. comment if you wish and stay tuned for the silly/fun post.